Too Much to Chew

I have officially bitten off more than I can chew. I really need to just take a few steps back and breathe before organzing myself and starting afresh. It's a good time for that, considering all the plants are coming up and in a week or so, my day lilies will start to bloom. Perhaps I can get my head around that.

Along with the waiting for our son (which is far harder than I thought it would be), I've taken on being the secretary for a Board of Directors, helping out my husband at his work, my own part-time job (which I've had for several years), trying to be perfect at weight watchers, holding a position on another board of directors, being in the play, and still being a mommy. When I started doing everything, it didn't seem so bad. Now, it seems like it's far too much for me to accomplish.

The secretary position is doable, I just have to schedule in a few bits of time each month to write the minutes. Helping my hubby is doable, since he is working on finding someone else to take on that position full time (I'm just not trained as a book-keeper). And the other board is something I love.

The play will be over soon (well, June) so there's a light at the end of that tunnel. And my job is handleable. I'm just struggling with the other two: Mom and Weight Watcher.

Weight watchers has become very difficult as I don't seem to be making any progress. That could certainly be because of the other stresses in my life. I tell myself that I will feel better if I eat the foods that are good for me and I *do* but that doesn't stop the cravings for the things that are bad. Donuts, pie, peanut butter and jelly, all those things. What I need to do is try to fit those things into the points, instead of cheating to eat them.

I think that's my problem. I think the entire time I've been trying (well, this time) I have been sabotaging myself by cheating on small things here and there, which makes it worse and becomes a vicious circle because all I want to do is eat and, once I fall off the wagon, it's very hard to get back on. I need to work on that. I keep telling myself that today is the last day of being bad and then the next day, I say the same thing. Now it's really time to stop.

When I get home from work, I am so tired I just want to watch TV for the rest of the night, when I know my daughter would much rather go for a walk and see the cows. I've got to get myself to the point where that walk is enjoyable and not a chore. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

This is a downer of a message, isn't it...maybe tomorrow I'll feel better. Must be a lowpoint in the month.